Where have you been?

I was sad, so I stayed away,
I doubted myself, and didn't want you to think me weak.
I had begun to wobble, ever so slightly,
And it was so very far to fall,
From the pedestal you'd put me on.

I was supposed to deliver the goods,
But they weren't forthcoming.
And what was happening to me,
Was too close to my heart, was private,
And was not to share.

Alas, as ever, so full of excuses,
The truth is, I was frightened to succeed,
So I sabotaged myself.
So much easier to cope with failure,
So comfortable with, "just not good enough".

Because after success, what then?
Where would we go, what would we do?
Still I fear it more than ever.
Never comfortable with basking,
The boredom would set in.

But I missed you, I really did. I really do.
And you didn't turn away, kept on coming back.
So may we try again, allow me to please once more?
Climb back up that pedestal, just halfway,
Then slow creeping baby steps to the top?

SnS xx