I feel like a lamb embarking on my final journey to the slaughter house. We're attending a party tomorrow afternoon, an intimate affair with just ten or so couples. The trouble is, all of these swingers are extremely experienced, with one couple verging on complete sex addiction. This particular couple frequent clubs and parties every single weekend, with private dates and IM every other day of the week.
Mr S. is extremely attracted to the woman and has her firmly in his sights. I don't think I'm coping with it too well, I feel a little out of my depth, or perhaps out of control, is that it? The fact that he wants to fuck her is OK, I'd really like to watch, but there's no way I want to get involved. If I'm honest she scares the living daylights out of me! I don't want to be another notch on her bedpost, I want to keep my scalp firmly on my head thank you!
However, I haven't actually met this couple and they do seem very charming in their emails etc. So perhaps I shouldn't pass judgment until I've actually met them? And I'm sure once the alcohol and atmosphere begin to take effect, I'll cast aside these foreboding feelings and fling myself sacrificially at these nymphomaniacs!
On the positive side, two raging bi-sexual women, that I've had the pleasure of playing with previously, are attending. If I can stick with these two, avoiding the addicts and all the men, then a very happy bunny I will be. I'm still not completely happy with having sex with other men, it's not something that I desire, but more of a means to an end. Just reading that sentence back makes me feel incredibly sad, how little self respect I must have, to sacrifice my body like that?
Anyway, enough of the pessimism, this must be the norm in the FUBAR world of swinging? Wish me luck, and check back next week for the results xxx
P.S if I don't update by Monday evening, please send a search party out for me, because I may well have been eaten alive!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Lamb to the Slaughter
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2 comments:
Specifically, what is it about this woman that scares you so much? When people avoid so-called "bedpost notchers," it's normally because of a fear of STDs, but that must not be your concern of you're still willing to let your husband play with her.
Furthermore, it's not unusual for couples to play exclusively with females, so we don't see why you feel obligated to have sex with other men if that's something you're not comfortable with. Have you discussed this with your husband?
Hi Greg & Sheryl, perhaps she reminds me of me? Don't we despise the most, our own faults in others?
Ultimately the decision to full swap with men, is mine and Mr S. is both supportive and understanding of my mixed emotions regarding it.
We are constantly evolving as a swinging couple. And yes, Mr S. & I share our feelings on everything and he knows how I feel about this.
But I have to work this tangled mess of emotions out for myself and I will eventually, regardless.
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