Nothing has changed, yet nothing remains the same. You took a chance, you let me go, gifted another man to me. I came back, full to the brim with more love for you than I ever thought possible. Nothing is lost, you have only gained.
Recently I'd whined "How come we never 'make love'? All we seem to do is 'have sex.'"
Well I was wrong. Every time for us is making love, I never realised that before. It's come to me like a bolt out of the blue.
Yes we've had the conversation before, you asking "What's the difference then?" Me staring blankly into space, without words, without an answer.
Well now I have one. There's a whole world of difference. When we unite, we make a connection, our souls meet. I hadn't realised it before. But now I've had 'just sex', I know there is no comparison to the entanglements we share together.
It was sex, just sex. I enjoyed it yes, but there was no 'connection', the sex and emotion where safely separated by a Grand Canyon of infinite proportions. It was a throwaway fuck, harsh but true. I used him for my pleasure, then waved goodbye. If it never happened again, if I never saw him again, then so be it. I couldn't care less.
They were a lovely couple, we enjoyed their company, we had fun, but sex wasn't a prerequisite, just an added bonus. Let's face it, we weren't short of other options and we got lots of lovely action without them, without doing a full swap.
The future? I would be happy to repeat, but I know that you aren't. So that is it, I'm completely content with that. You are my priority, don't forget that, without you this means nothing. Your crown is still intact, it sits steadily, there is no need to worry.
I am yours and only yours. Always. xxx
6 comments:
Very beautiful. It's good that you've decided your feelings. Don't ever stop finding what you love and going for it, no matter what it is.
~Sin
Thanks Sin, have a great weekend xxx
And of course you told Mr. S all of this in person, right Sparkle? :)
Well..at least there is still hope for me. I can leave Ranger at home. hee..hee...!!
xoxoxo
kitty
Wonderfully stated!
We've also found there to be a magnitude of difference between "making love" and "sex". Sex without love is just that...sex.
However, we've also found a happy median to exist as well. For Lettuce, she hasn't quite yet been able to cross over to just have sex without some connection (although recent events indicate some changes on the horizon ;-). The happy median for us has been to establish a connection, a friendship first, before sex. The proverbial "friends with benefits" has been the working arrangement for us. In that case there actually is some connection - in fact, it's a requirement. She's much more comfortable with that situation then a total stranger that she'll never see again.
But even then, there's a world of difference between making love together, and her having sex with a friend. Yes, a connection of sorts still exists, but our relationship, our love, our family, our past and our future, all make the connection between so much more significant - there's really no comparison. Even when we just have some fast, hard, explicit sex, we're still sharing our love.
It's the emotions behind it that make all the difference.
(A word to the wise - it's also a strong warning sign when those emotions shift that there's potential trouble.)
I truly hope Mr. S is feeling better about things today then the past couple of weeks. Your relationship seems pretty open so I would assume (I hate to assume but I will here) you've explained your thoughts and feelings to him as well (or perhaps even better) then you've blogged them here.
btw - loving your blog!
That's the kind of love we all truly look for. Finding it,(that, "making love")is the definition of fullness,
completeness.
You've expressed this so well.
It is a joyful post.
All the best,
x,Will.
Yes Kitty, I signed, sealed and hand delivered it to Mr S and yes there's always hope for you ;o)
Thanks for your extensive comment Bacon, I think Lettuce and I are complete opposites! But that's OK, everyone's different.
And yes I have fully explained my thoughts and feelings to Mr S. He was really touched by my letter.
I'm glad you like my blog, we're enjoying yours too ;o)
Thanks Will, strange how it took me so long to realise what we have is so special..........
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